Grief and Loss

Grief is a mother, a teacher, even a friend holding us tight as we give praise to those we've lost but it also can be a weight that takes hold of you or your dogs if left unnoticed.

Telling others or being vulnerable is hard for many as they feel ashamed of their feelings or the difficulties of losing a loved one. As a culture, with or without social media, humans concentrate on "looking good", putting on a face, acting like everything is "fine".  "Oh, I'm fine, I'm ok, don't worry about me". 

How many times have we said this despite feeling like a gaping wound?  Our dogs feel the same and partake in many of the same coping mechanisms, feeding off our energies and being strong for us. 

Grief is a subject that can clear the room and make others feel uncomfortable. Many people find it too confronting especially in cultures where "looking good" is the main focus of social interaction. Some folks are unable to deal with their own grief and the sorrow they are dealing with or carrying around so hearing about other people's grief is just too
much.

Grief is not the enemy or something to be embarrassed or ashamed about. If someone is uncomfortable with your grief, it's more about them than you. We can't expect to move forward without looking at the present of what is happening now or how we have our past in our future. We have to come together (with good boundaries) and hold space for people. We can do this from afar or in close proximity. When grieving, it's important to know there are different ways in which people deal with loss, how they express it and the cycle that occurs.

Occurring both mentally and physically, grief also encompasses so much. Loss, heartache, stress, tension, passion, gratitude, missing, longing, and emptiness, illness, and surprisingly, love. Physical and emotional grief can occur for any type of loss including anticipated loss or when circumstances affect your sense of belonging or security.

Surprisingly, grief can span generations imprinting into our DNA. Humans as well as other animals can be affected by their ancestor's torment.  Karmic debt and evolution is real as we are all connected through the web of the soul and the universal connection. By working through grief and feeling grace and acceptance, we are helping all of humanity. As each of us heal ourselves, we heal the web of life, our pets and ourselves. Everything is connected.

Just like herbs, grief works on a system of opposites and grief's opposite is acceptance and love. Without sorrow and grief, we wouldn't know what joy and love are. Life and death, yin and yang, up and down, a system of opposites so we can experience the "knowing" of each because without one we wouldn't have the other. Without love, we wouldn't be able to experience grief. So in essence, grief is love.  

Losing a loved one never has a "right time", I do feel that being prepared for loss is something we all be aware of. Our plant allies are here to help us create a bridge to the other side and hold space for us as we go through the process of loss.

Part of the healing process is acceptance but some of us including our furry companions might not know what is needed or how to move through the grief. Our plant allies offer transformation and understanding of the unknown. By holding ancient DNA they're connected to this world's universal communication network extending back to the beginning. They hold within them an acceptance and a light that helps us keep what we need and let go of what is complete.  

Even though grief is sometimes difficult to notice or understand, you’re not alone. Look to plant allies for support in these trying times. Plants can open up cell energy, transform stagnant emotions and support healing. From an holistic herbalist’s perspective, there are four forms of herbal medicine that help transform grief: flower essences, herbal tinctures, essential oils, and homeopathic plants.

Even though grief is sometimes difficult to notice or understand, you’re not alone. Look to plant allies for support in these trying times. Plants can open up cell energy, transform stagnant emotions and support healing. From an holistic herbalist’s perspective, there are four forms of herbal medicine that help transform grief: flower essences, herbal tinctures, essential oils, and homeopathic plants.

Agrimony (Agrimonia spp) / this remedy is for people that hold their breath or dogs that are stoic. When grieving you get a fake facade or persona that everything is ok when it is anything but. For people who can’t speak their truth. 

Baby Blue Eyes (Nemophila menziesil) / helps dogs feel supported and cared for, especially mistrustful dogs. This flower essence works exceptionally well when the subject of grief is male.

Bleeding Heart (Dicentra formosa) / helps strengthen the heart both physically and emotionally. This pink flower helps push through loss and mend separation. I like using bleeding heart whenever dogs are separated from their previous owners or taken away from their littermates.

Boneset (Eupatorium perfoliatum) / works with the nervous and immune systems helping strengthen chronic depletion. 

Bougainvillea (Bougainvillea glabra) / helps protect against unwanted energie while greiving while helping you attract harmonizing energies. It
Protects you when you are most vulnerable. Whether for humans or for dogs, it helps bring hope and joy back.

Comfrey (Symphytum officinale) / works for severe trauma or DNA related sorrow. Brings about feelings of being safe during deep healing.

Echinacea (Echinacea purpurea) / helps release stagnant energies while supporting transformation and transition.

Evergreen Huckleberry (Vaccinium ovatum) / helps break the fear-grief-trauma-loss cycle. This is a good remedy when both owner and dog are grieving simultaneously.

Gorse flower essence (Ulex europaeus) / addresses extended periods of grief with obvious prolonged physical and emotional symptoms.

Olive (Olea europea) / is another essence that pairs well with Gorse as it too is for chronic exhaustive states.

Pine (Pinus sylvestrus) / is for dogs showing physical symptoms from experiencing grief. Many pine remedies can be somewhat toxic to dogs; however the essence is beneficial and safe.

Star Of Bethlehem (Ornithogalum nutans) / addresses trauma leading to grief. It also addresses rescue situations, sudden loss of a pet, violent death and seizures. This flower essence is good for past trauma so it’s ideal when you’re dealing with the unknown. Start out slowly as this essence can cause an extreme flux in emotions for a short period of time. For example, a dog showing fear might be extremely sensitive for 24 to 48 hours.

Water Violet (Hottonia palustris) / flower essence works well when grief centers around losing a companion. Water violet works well with puppies removed from their litter.

When grieving, whatever the reasons, give your dog lots of fresh air and exercise. Stick to a stress-relieving routine. If she likes playing, spend at least 15 minutes multiple times per day engaging in play or attempted play. Without reinforcing the grieving behavior, try to find a balance between support and giving your dog personal space. However, if your dog is clingy then I would be available to her but careful. Reinforcing the behavior can lead to prolonged grieving.